It never gonna be real

When you finally realize your feeling and it's already too late,

THAT'S SUCKS

I tell you.

Falling in love is not an option.

You can't control with whom you fall in love.

When it happen. It happen.

I can't even say I love you towards him.

Heh, never mind with love,

I can't even say that I like him as a woman to a man at all.

In this world,

there're rules where if you didn't say it, you'll regret it later

and also, if you say it, you'll regret it.

Such contradicting-stupid-yet-true rules !

my case? It is the later one.

I want to say it because I don't know what he is thinking about me

and I don't want to regret for not being honest with myself

YET

if I insist on telling him, the probability I ruin our friendship is like 100%

which is a 

TOTAL DISASTER !

Well actually, I already get the answer even tho I didn't ask him.

I will never be a thing to him.

I might be a good friend for him but

never good enough to be his girl.

Knowing the truth is bitter. This is what people called,

the ugly-truth.

It never gonna be real between us.

That fact will never changes and learning that fact really hurts me.

I can pretend that "Oh, I'm so over him".

"No, I don't think I can accept him after learning the truth"

but deep deep deep in my heart,

It takes time to move on. It is not easy to get over someone

especially one that you hold very dear.

It reminds me of secret love song lyrics,

"why can't I say that I'm in love?, I wanna shout it from the rooftop.."

Whatever it is,

it's already too late.

Who would have known he once had a feeling towards me,

and that time my best friend was in love with him,

and I am in love with someone else,

and who would have thought that,

years later, he is in love with someone else,

my best friend who once liked him, already engaged,

and I am in love with him.

What a complicated fate.

This is what you called,

we never meant to be in the first place and will never be.

Since, he is someone that is very dear to me,

I want him to be happy with whoever he choose to be,

he is after all my best friend too.

Hey bro, Let's fate fares you. 

Be happy

so I won't regret buried this secret love.

I'll move forward.

I can do it because I am that kind of person,

If I decide on something, I will do it til the end.

P.S. Won't ever write my feelings towards him ever again.

This is the last one.

I'll be moving on.